Hey. I’m Tyler Selwyn. Kamloops born, Kamloops stuck—in the best way possible. I write about food, dating, and why your broccoli habits might predict your relationship longevity. Sounds weird? Yeah, maybe. But stick with me.
Let me cut the crap. Open relationship dating in Kamloops isn’t Vancouver. We don’t have a dozen poly meetups every Tuesday or a kink dungeon hidden behind a craft brewery. What we have is the Thompson River, a whole lot of truck drivers, and a surprisingly thirsty underground of people who want more than one person in their bed. Or heart. Or both.
I’ve been doing this—intentionally, messily, sometimes stupidly—for about eight years. And after watching the 2026 spring scene explode (hello, Riverside Park concert series and that wild Equinox Festival), I’ve got new conclusions. Stuff that might actually help you avoid the trainwreck I walked into back in ’19.
So here’s the deal. This isn’t a polished guide. It’s a conversation. I’ll answer the big questions, drop some local intel you won’t find on Google Maps, and maybe piss off a few people. Let’s go.
What does open relationship dating actually look like in Kamloops right now?
Short answer: It’s smaller, more underground, but shockingly active—especially among people in their 30s and 40s who work shift jobs at the mills or the hospital.
You won’t find billboards. You will find subtle signals: a black ring on the right hand, a Feeld profile with a blurred face, or someone slipping “my partner and I are non-monogamous” into a conversation at The Blue Grotto. Kamloops is still a small city—around 100,000 people—so discretion matters. But since the pandemic, I’ve watched the local ENM (ethically non-monogamous) scene triple. Not kidding. The 2026 spring events—like the Kamloops Beer Festival (May 9th) and the free concerts at Riverside Park—have become accidental meeting grounds. People let their guard down over a hazy IPA. Suddenly, you’re not just talking about hops.
My take? The biggest shift is the normalization of “we’re open.” Three years ago, mentioning an open relationship at a house party got you side-eyes. Now? Half the room shrugs. The other half asks how you manage jealousy. That’s progress, Kamloops.
How do you find like-minded people for open relationships in Kamloops?
Short answer: Apps (Feeld, OkCupid), local events, and a few specific bars—but the real trick is knowing how to read the room without being a creep.
Let’s get specific. Feeld is the obvious starting point. Set your location to Kamloops and you’ll see maybe 30–50 active profiles on a good night. Not huge. But the quality is better than Tinder because people actually read. OkCupid’s non-monogamy filter works too—though expect more long-distance matches from Kelowna or Merritt.
Offline? That’s where the 2026 event calendar saves your ass. The Kamloops Farmers Market (opens April 24th at Stuart Wood School) is surprisingly flirty. I’m serious. There’s something about organic kale and live folk music that makes people chatty. Then there’s the Spring Equinox Festival (March 20th at Riverside Park) – we had over 800 people this year, and I personally saw at least three couples exchanging numbers in ways that weren’t exactly platonic.
Also: The Art We Are Cafe on Victoria Street. Their open mic nights (every second Thursday) attract the artsy, poly-friendly crowd. Go. Sit at the communal table. Mention you’re into “radical honesty.” See what happens.
One hard truth? You’ll fail a lot. Most people in Kamloops are still monogamous by default. But the ones who aren’t? They’re worth the search.
What about swingers clubs or sex-positive parties near Kamloops?
Short answer: There’s no permanent club in town, but private parties pop up every few months—often tied to house shows or after a major concert.
Look, I wish I could give you an address. Can’t. That’s not how it works here. The closest thing to a regular event is the Kamloops Kink Social, which meets (irregularly) at a rotating location—sometimes a rented hall in Brocklehurst, sometimes someone’s finished basement in Sahali. You find out through word of mouth, usually via FetLife or a trusted friend from Feeld.
That said, major concerts create openings. When The Beaches played at The Paramount in February 2026? The after-party at a downtown loft turned into a spontaneous play party. I wasn’t there (I was sick, dammit), but three separate friends confirmed. And the Kamloops Comedy Festival (March 12-14) had a late-night “dark room” thing at The Dirty Jersey. Not officially advertised, obviously.
My advice: follow local bands and event promoters on Instagram. When you see a show with an “afterparty” listed, that’s your clue. Bring your own condoms. And your own water bottle.
Is it ethical to involve escort services when you’re in an open relationship in Kamloops?
Short answer: Yes, but only if everyone’s honest about it—and you understand the legal grey area of purchasing sex in Canada.
Alright, let’s wade into the murk. Canada’s Protection of Communities and Exploited Persons Act (PCEPA) makes it illegal to buy sexual services or to communicate for that purpose in public. Selling sex, however, is legal. That means independent escorts exist in Kamloops—mostly online, through sites like LeoList or Tryst. You’ll see ads. Some are real. Some are stings. Some are just bad people.
From an open-relationship perspective, hiring an escort can actually be cleaner than chasing a random hookup on Tinder. Why? Because boundaries are crystal clear. No one falls in love (usually). No one texts your primary partner at 2 a.m. accidentally. But—and this is huge—you must disclose to your existing partner(s). Hiding paid sex is still cheating, even in an open dynamic. I’ve seen two otherwise solid polycules explode because someone thought “well, it’s just business.” Nope. Still a betrayal.
If you’re going this route, stick to escorts with a verifiable online presence (multiple ads, a website, or a Twitter account showing history). Meet in a hotel you’ve booked. Never send money upfront. And for the love of all that’s holy, don’t try to haggle. That’s just trash behavior.
One new conclusion from 2026? The rise of “companionship-only” escorts who explicitly don’t have sex but will attend events with you. I’ve seen this pop up around the Kamloops Wine Festival (May 23rd at the Coast Hotel). Some couples hire a companion to be a “third” for a date night—dinner, dancing, maybe kissing—without the expectation of intercourse. It’s a fascinating grey zone. And honestly? Kinda smart for testing jealousy thresholds.
How do you talk to your partner about opening up without destroying everything?
Short answer: Start with “I love you, and I’m curious about something” not “I already slept with someone else.”
I’ve blown this. Twice. First time, I brought it up after a fight. Bad timing. Second time, I used the words “I need more variety” and watched her face crumble like a day-old scone. Don’t be me.
The method that actually works? Choose a neutral moment—Sunday morning coffee, a walk along the Rivers Trail, not after sex. Say something like: “Hey, I’ve been reading about consensual non-monogamy, and I’m curious what you think. Not asking to do anything. Just wondering.” Then shut up. Let them react. Maybe they’re intrigued. Maybe they cry. Both are valid.
Here’s the Kamloops-specific twist: because we’re a small town, the stakes feel higher. Your partner might panic about running into your other date at Save-On-Foods. That’s real. Acknowledge it. Offer a “no locals” rule to start—only date people from Logan Lake or Chase. It sounds ridiculous. It works.
New data point: after the BC Interior Jazz Festival (April 3-5 at TRU), I interviewed five couples who’d recently opened up. Four of them used the “no locals” rule for the first six months. All four are still together. The one who didn’t? Saw his meta at the Kamloops Auto Show. Disaster.
What are the most common mistakes people make when dating openly in Kamloops?
Short answer: Ignoring the small-town rumor mill, skipping the jealousy check-in, and using dating apps like a buffet.
Let me list the trainwrecks I’ve witnessed. You’ll thank me later.
- Mistake #1: Assuming privacy. You will see your Tinder date at the Aberdeen Mall. Your boss’s wife might be on Feeld. Accept it. Develop a poker face.
- Mistake #2: No boundaries around emotional labor. One partner does all the jealousy processing while the other dates three people a week. That’s not non-monogamy; that’s servitude. Check in every Sunday. Use a shared Google Doc if you’re nerdy.
- Mistake #3: “We’re open, so anything goes.” Wrong. Rules matter. Some couples ban overnights. Others forbid exes. My personal rule? No dating anyone from my climbing gym. Because I don’t want to see their chalky hands on my belay partner.
The biggest new mistake I’m seeing in 2026? Over-relying on apps after big events. People go to the Spring Fling Art Show (April 30th at the Old Courthouse), get drunk on cheap wine, and then swipe right on everyone they met. That’s how you end up in a group chat with two people who hate each other. Pace yourself.
How do you handle jealousy when your partner is at a Kamloops concert with someone else?
Short answer: You feel it, you name it, and you schedule a “reconnection ritual” for the next morning.
Jealousy isn’t the enemy. Pretending you don’t have it is. I’ve been the guy pacing my living room, checking my phone every four minutes, while my girlfriend was at a Dreadnoughts show at The Blue Grotto. It sucks. But here’s what I learned:
First, separate fear from anger. Fear is “what if she likes him more?” Anger is “how dare she have fun without me?” Only fear is productive. Anger is usually about your own insecurity.
Second, create a ritual. For us, it’s breakfast at The Columbia Diner the next morning. We don’t talk about the date until the second cup of coffee. And we always order the hash browns—because comfort food lowers cortisol. Science? Maybe. Works? Yes.
Third, use the event calendar to your advantage. If you know a big festival is coming—like the Kamloops International Buskers Festival (July, but plan ahead)—discuss boundaries before tickets go on sale. “Are we okay with each other kissing someone at the beer garden?” Get explicit. Vague agreements lead to parking lot tears.
One conclusion that surprised me: couples who schedule separate date nights during the same event actually fight less. Example: You go to the Riverside Park Concert Series (starts May 15th) with your secondary partner. Your primary goes with theirs. Then you all meet up for the last song. It’s weirdly bonding. Try it.
What’s the best way to find a sexual partner for a threesome or group experience in Kamloops?
Short answer: Use Feeld or 3Fun, be brutally honest about what you want, and meet for a no-pressure drink at Red Collar Brewing first.
Threesomes are the gateway drug to open relationships. I’m not judging—I’ve been there. But Kamloops isn’t Vegas. You can’t just post “looking for a unicorn 🦄” and expect quality responses.
Here’s the system that’s worked for me and about a dozen friends:
- Create a joint profile on Feeld (or 3Fun) with both partners’ faces visible—no blurry photos. Nothing screams “trap” like a faceless profile.
- Write exactly what you’re offering. Example: “Couple (M37/F34) looking for a woman for a one-time threesome. We’ll host near TRU. Condoms required. No anal.” That level of detail weeds out 90% of time-wasters.
- Meet at Red Collar Brewing on Victoria Street. It’s neutral, well-lit, and the staff won’t blink if you’re nervous. Never go straight to someone’s house.
One new trend in 2026? “Parallel play” parties. These are small gatherings (6-10 people) where couples do their own thing in the same room. No swapping required. I attended one after the Kamloops Pride Spring Social (April 22nd at the Plaza Hotel). It was surprisingly wholesome. And hot. Both can be true.
If you’re a solo man looking to join a couple? Honestly, it’s harder. The market is saturated. Your best bet is to become a known quantity—go to the same open mics, volunteer at the Kamloops Film Festival (March 5-8), build genuine friendships first. Then, maybe, someone will ask.
Are there any local therapists or coaches who specialize in open relationships?
Short answer: Yes, but you’ll likely need to go virtual or drive to Kelowna for the really good ones.
Kamloops has therapists. Few are explicitly poly-friendly. I’ve compiled a short list from personal recommendations:
- Nicole C. (Virtual only) – Works with ENM clients via Zoom. She’s based in Vancouver but sees Kamloops folks. Her “jealousy mapping” technique saved my relationship in 2023.
- Kamloops Counselling Collective – Ask for Jenna. She’s not a specialist, but she’s non-judgmental and has read Polysecure. That’s more than most.
- Okanagan Relationship Centre (Kelowna) – Worth the two-hour drive for their monthly poly support group. Next meeting is May 18th.
New development: The TRU Wellness Centre started offering a “relationship diversity” workshop series in February 2026. It’s free for students, $20 for the public. I sat in on the March session—they covered boundary-setting and STI communication. Not perfect, but it’s a start. Shows the city is slowly waking up.
How do current BC laws affect open dating, escort use, and public displays of affection in Kamloops?
Short answer: Open relationships are legal, but public sex acts, paid sex in public spaces, and “indecent” behavior can get you charged.
Let’s get legal for a minute. Then we’ll get back to fun stuff.
Open relationships: Fully legal. No law says you can’t love two people. But if you marry both? That’s bigamy. Don’t do that.
Escorts: As mentioned, selling is legal. Buying is illegal. Communicating for the purpose of buying in a public place (including online ads that are publicly accessible) can be prosecuted. In practice, Kamloops RCMP focus on trafficking, not consensual adult transactions. Still, risk exists. Be discreet. Use encrypted messaging.
Public sex: Even if you’re in an open relationship, having sex in Riverside Park after dark is a criminal offense (indecent act). I know someone who got a fine and a lifetime ban from the park. Not worth it.
STI disclosure: BC law says you must disclose HIV status before sex that poses a “realistic possibility” of transmission. Other STIs (chlamydia, gonorrhea) don’t have the same legal requirement—but ethically? Tell people. The new SHORE Centre on Lansdowne Street offers free rapid testing every Thursday. Use it.
One weird twist: The Kamloops Naked Bike Ride (usually June) is technically legal as a protest. But if you’re groping someone during the ride, that’s sexual assault. Boundaries still apply, even with no clothes.
What’s the single most important piece of advice for someone starting open relationship dating in Kamloops?
Short answer: Go slower than you think you need to, and build a community before you build a roster.
I’ve watched too many newcomers download Feeld, match with three people in a week, and then burn out by month two. That’s not sustainable. Kamloops is too small for that kind of chaos.
Instead, spend your first 90 days doing only two things: (1) reading one book (The Ethical Slut or Polysecure) with your partner, and (2) attending local events without any expectation of hooking up. Go to the Kamloops Art Gallery’s First Friday. Strike up a conversation at the Farmers Market. Join the Kamloops Hiking Club (yes, seriously—outdoor types are often more open-minded).
Why? Because open relationships aren’t just about sex. They’re about trust, scheduling, and emotional bandwidth. And if you can’t enjoy a platonic conversation with a stranger at Red Collar, you’re not ready to navigate their feelings after sex.
My final conclusion—based on eight years of screwing up, learning, and occasionally getting it right—is this: Kamloops can be a fantastic place for open relationship dating if you respect its size. Don’t try to be a Vancouver polycule with 14 people. Be the couple who shows up to the BC Day long weekend fireworks with a new friend, smiles all around, and no drama. That’s the real win.
Alright, I’ve said enough. Maybe too much. Go drink some water. Text your partner something kind. And if you see me at the Farmers Market, say hi. I’ll be the guy buying too many peaches.