Ethical non-monogamy (ENM) is not just some abstract trend. In Bern, right now, it’s a living, breathing reality. People are gathering over after-work beers to discuss relationship anarchy, the dating app Feeld is actually usable here (surprising, I know), and there’s a palpable shift away from the traditional two-person box. But where do you start? How do you find people who get it? And what the hell do you do when jealousy decides to crash your carefully planned emotional ecosystem? This isn’t a theoretical guide. It’s a messy, boots-on-the-ground map for navigating polyamory and open relationships in the Swiss capital, complete with events happening in the next few months.
What exactly is ethical non-monogamy and which models exist in Bern?
Ethical non-monogamy is an umbrella term for any relationship where everyone involved consents to having multiple romantic or sexual connections. It’s not cheating. It’s the opposite of cheating.
Honestly, the term “ENM” is like saying “vehicle.” It covers everything from a bicycle to a monster truck. In Bern, you’ll find folks practicing various models. The most common one you’ll hear about is polyamory — having multiple loving, committed relationships simultaneously. Then there are open relationships, typically a committed couple who agree to have sexual (but not romantic) partners outside the dyad. Swinging is another flavor, often centered around recreational sex in social settings. And then there’s the glorious, slightly chaotic relationship anarchy — the idea that every relationship (romantic, platonic, familial) is unique and shouldn’t follow a predetermined hierarchy.
So, which one is “best”? The honest answer is: the one that doesn’t make you want to tear your hair out. I’ve seen beautifully functioning polycules and open relationships that imploded spectacularly. The model isn’t the magic. The communication is.
Where can I meet like-minded people for polyamory or open relationships in Bern right now?
In Bern, your best bet for finding the ENM community is the “Berner Poly-Feierabendbier” — a casual, consent-friendly after-work gathering. These are not dating events, they’re for connection and chat.
You want real people, not just profiles? Then get your calendar out. Berner Poly-Feierabendbier meets regularly, offering a low-stakes entry point for anyone curious or experienced[reference:0]. For a more structured educational setting, the “(Don’t) Crash Course Polyamorie & ENM – Bern Edition” is scheduled for Thursday, April 30, 2026. It’s hosted by relationship and sex therapists, so you know the insights will be solid and the discussions will get real[reference:1].
But the queer spaces are often where the most honest talk happens. Keep an eye on the Queeres Plauderstündchen in Kocherpark, an open-air chat where topics include non-monogamy and queer poly relationships[reference:2]. And don’t sleep on the HAZ – Regenbogenhaus; they host a Polygespräch that dives into open and alternative relationship forms, welcoming people of all genders and orientations[reference:3].
A personal observation: the vibe at these gatherings is often awkward at first. That’s fine. It takes a few times to get past the surface-level chit-chat. My unsolicited advice? Go with a specific question, not a general curiosity. It gives the conversation a spine.
How do I find partners for ethical non-monogamy in Bern (dating apps & tips)?
Feeld is the go-to app for ENM and polyamory in Switzerland. It’s explicitly designed for non-traditional relationships and has a solid user base in and around Bern. But be prepared to communicate your boundaries early and often.
Apps like Feeld are a genuine tool here[reference:4][reference:5]. But here’s the thing most guides won’t tell you: the “Feeld face” is real. Everyone is trying to look effortlessly cool and sexually fluid. My tip? Be cringey. Be specific. Write that you’re into board games *and* ethical non-monogamy. The right people will find it endearing. Other platforms like OkCupid also allow you to specify non-monogamous relationship types in your profile[reference:6].
A major pro-tip for Bern: write your profile in English or, at the very least, explain your relationship structure clearly in English. The ENM community here is wonderfully international, and clarity prevents 90% of the headaches.
How do I deal with jealousy effectively when practicing ethical non-monogamy?
Jealousy is not a sign that ENM is failing — it’s a sign that you’re a human with emotions. Ethical non-monogamy doesn’t eliminate jealousy; it forces you to negotiate with it. You have to get curious about what the jealousy is actually pointing to — fear of abandonment, a need for more quality time, or maybe just a lack of validation from a partner.
I’ve seen the concept of “compersion” — taking joy in your partner’s other joys — talked about like it’s the holy grail. And sure, it’s amazing when it happens. But pretending you’re not jealous when you are? That’s a recipe for disaster. The strategies that actually work are boring but effective: radical honesty, self-soothing rituals, and sometimes, good old-fashioned therapy[reference:7]. There’s no hack for this. You just have to do the work.
What does research say about the success and satisfaction of ENM relationships?
Some studies suggest that the constant, open communication required in ENM relationships can lead to higher levels of trust and deeper connection than in some monogamous relationships. However, this is highly dependent on the individuals involved. The data shows ENM can be just as stable as monogamy when the communication is on point, but it’s not a “better” or “worse” situation — it’s just *different*.
Let’s be real, the research is still catching up. A lot of what’s out there is based on small, self-selecting samples. We simply don’t have the long-term longitudinal studies yet. So while we can say ENM *can* work beautifully, we can’t say it works better than monogamy for most people. It’s a lifestyle choice, not a miracle cure for relationship boredom.
What are the legal challenges for polyamorous families in Switzerland?
Legally, Switzerland is strictly built for dyads. For people practicing polyamory or other forms of ENM, this creates real-world problems, especially around parenting, inheritance, and hospital visitation rights. Your multi-parent family isn’t recognized by the state. Many families circumvent this through detailed private legal contracts, but these are workarounds, not protections.
This isn’t just an abstract issue. As sociologist Tamara Bosshard and others have noted, when you live outside the nuclear family structure, the administrative headaches multiply. Who has custody if a co-parent falls ill? How do you ensure inheritance rights? The Pink Apple film festival in Zurich is hosting a talk in 2026 specifically on “Familie und Care jenseits von Monogamie” (Family and Care Beyond Monogamy) to address these gaps[reference:8]. We need more of that kind of public conversation.
What are the best books, podcasts, and coaching resources for ENM beginners in Bern?
Start with “The Ethical Slut” by Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy — it’s the classic for a reason. If you want a more structured approach, “Opening Up” by Tristan Taormino is excellent for navigating the practical logistics of shifting a relationship. For local support, the website polyamorie.ch is a hub for Swiss events, and there are several Bern-based coaches specializing in polyamory and ENM, such as Leyla from Soulsearch Coaching, who focuses on neurodivergent and queer experiences.
Podcasts like “Multiamory” are great for deep dives into specific communication tools. Honestly, the best resource is the community itself. The people you meet at the “Feierabendbier” will be the ones who point you to the events, the therapists, and the social gatherings that aren’t advertised anywhere else. It’s an oral tradition.
AgriFoodGeneral Information A5: Knowledge, Training, and Education for Sustainable Agriculture and Food Systems Many of today’s global challenges have a high priority on international agendas. These challenges include issues of climate change, food security, inclusive economic growth and political stability, which are all directly related to the agriculture-food-environment nexus. Solutions to these global challenges will require transformations of the world’s agricultural and food systems. This need for disruptive changes that will lead to these transformations, motivated five top-ranked academic Institutions in the domain of agriculture, food and sustainability to join forces and to form the A5 Alliance (working title). The A5 founding members - China Agricultural University, Cornell University, University of California Davis, University of Sao Paulo, and Wageningen University & Research - are recognized globally for their scientific knowledge, research expertise, teaching and training in sustainable agriculture and food systems. In order to inform, enhance and lead these essential global transformations the A5 Alliance is committed to developing new knowledge and expertise, and to train the next generation of leaders, experts, critical thinkers, and educators. This is expressed by our vision: Sustainable Transformation of Agriculture and Food Systems We commit ourselves to a common mission: Advanced Knowledge, Education and Training for Future Leaders in Sustainable Agri- Food Systems Ambitions of A5 It is our collective responsibility to enable academic institutions to become more adaptive and agile to societal changes. 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Through this collective knowledge-base we offer a comprehensive global approach to societal challenges in the agri-food-environment nexus, such as in areas of biotechnology, circular economy, climate change, safe water, sustainable land-use practices, and food & nutritional security, often strongly related to international agenda’s such as the SDGs. Examples of transformational topics that A5 intends to work on include the management, synthesis and analysis of huge data streams (big data) in the agriculture and food, developing and introducing automation and robotics in agriculture, sustainable intensification of agro-food production, reducing food waste and climate smart agriculture. We invite our partner stakeholders to collaborate with us in creating the transformative changes that are needed to adapt to the changing needs in the agriculture and food domain. Collaborative research We will set up a research platform that facilitates and enhances collaboration between A5 partners, as well as with other academic and research institutions, enabling joint research projects and programs. Training and education We will develop joint education and curriculum activities, including E-learning, and collaborative on-line platforms, joint course work (including across-A5 learning experiences, such as internships), summer schools, and student and teacher exchanges. In addition, we will enhance the human and institutional capacity of higher education, especially in developing countries. Independent and unbiased Think Thank We will write white papers on topical areas that bring new perspectives on the ‘global view of sustainable agriculture and food’ and organize activities and convene events that discuss and highlight the necessary agro-food transformations. Examples are conferences or “executive” workshops for policy-makers, research institutions, industries, NGOs and academia, with a focus on awareness, engagement, and knowledge sharing and co-creation. Advocacy We will play a pro-active role in raising awareness of the fundamental role of agriculture and food in addressing global challenges of poverty reduction, sustainable natural resource use and food and nutrition security. A5 will strive for university research to be a trusted resource for the general public. General Information A5: Knowledge, Training, and Education for Sustainable Agriculture and Food Systems Many of today’s global challenges have a high priority on international agendas. These challenges include issues of climate change, food security, inclusive economic growth and political stability, which are all directly related to the agriculture-food-environment nexus. Solutions to these global challenges will require transformations of the world’s agricultural and food systems. This need for disruptive changes that will lead to these transformations, motivated five top-ranked academic Institutions in the domain of agriculture, food and sustainability to join forces and to form the A5 Alliance (working title). The A5 founding members - China Agricultural University, Cornell University, University of California Davis, University of Sao Paulo, and Wageningen University & Research - are recognized globally for their scientific knowledge, research expertise, teaching and training in sustainable agriculture and food systems. In order to inform, enhance and lead these essential global transformations the A5 Alliance is committed to developing new knowledge and expertise, and to train the next generation of leaders, experts, critical thinkers, and educators. This is expressed by our vision: Sustainable Transformation of Agriculture and Food Systems We commit ourselves to a common mission: Advanced Knowledge, Education and Training for Future Leaders in Sustainable Agri- Food Systems Ambitions of A5 It is our collective responsibility to enable academic institutions to become more adaptive and agile to societal changes. Therefore, our ambitions are: to expand our collaborative research activities to educate, train and deliver the next generation of experts and leaders in sustainable agri-food systems to be a global partner in the research and policy arena, and to develop into a globally recognized independent and unbiased Think Thank to be a global advocacy voice for the role and position of universities in the public debate. Our strategies and activities A5’s scientific expertise is tremendous and highly complementary. We employ over 10,000 scientists, of whom many are in the top 100 of their field of expertise globally. Many of our scientists are involved in teaching at all academic levels. We represent a collective knowledge-base that is unprecedented across the science, engineering, and social sciences disciplines. Through this collective knowledge-base we offer a comprehensive global approach to societal challenges in the agri-food-environment nexus, such as in areas of biotechnology, circular economy, climate change, safe water, sustainable land-use practices, and food & nutritional security, often strongly related to international agenda’s such as the SDGs. Examples of transformational topics that A5 intends to work on include the management, synthesis and analysis of huge data streams (big data) in the agriculture and food, developing and introducing automation and robotics in agriculture, sustainable intensification of agro-food production, reducing food waste and climate smart agriculture. We invite our partner stakeholders to collaborate with us in creating the transformative changes that are needed to adapt to the changing needs in the agriculture and food domain. Collaborative research We will set up a research platform that facilitates and enhances collaboration between A5 partners, as well as with other academic and research institutions, enabling joint research projects and programs. Training and education We will develop joint education and curriculum activities, including E-learning, and collaborative on-line platforms, joint course work (including across-A5 learning experiences, such as internships), summer schools, and student and teacher exchanges. In addition, we will enhance the human and institutional capacity of higher education, especially in developing countries. Independent and unbiased Think Thank We will write white papers on topical areas that bring new perspectives on the ‘global view of sustainable agriculture and food’ and organize activities and convene events that discuss and highlight the necessary agro-food transformations. Examples are conferences or “executive” workshops for policy-makers, research institutions, industries, NGOs and academia, with a focus on awareness, engagement, and knowledge sharing and co-creation. Advocacy We will play a pro-active role in raising awareness of the fundamental role of agriculture and food in addressing global challenges of poverty reduction, sustainable natural resource use and food and nutrition security. A5 will strive for university research to be a trusted resource for the general public.